What We Think About The Yaois
by Kuro Kawahashi
Summary: This is what Rei and Max thinks about yaois! My cousin and I are living with Rei and Max. Think what will happen when Rei and Max finds out everything about gayness... EVERYTHING they don't want to know about! Slight ReixMax. Under the intent of Saya-san.
1. What We Think About The Yaois

Original Idea: Sakari Nikisho  
Story: Sakari Nikisho and M. Saya  
ENJOY THE SHOW

**What We Think About  
The Yaois**

_Chapter One  
What We Think About The Yaois  
_

**Max POV**

Ah… This all started when our friend, Sakari, left her computer on for a few minutes. Rei and I went to check it out. I mean, come on! We were bored and it was so hot! We'd be fried if we went outside. Okay, so… Our other friend, Bree, she was yelling at Sakari for something… I don't understand. Saki-chan is a very sweet, little girl. Bree was yelling about, "Stop reading that! Its wrong!" What wrong thing could she be reading? I mean she's only an eleven-year-old. Bree isn't one to overreact (um… not _to_ often…) so what's up? And she's very nice to everyone. Typical… leaving Rei and I in the dark, like this.

**Rei POV**

Okay, so Max and I were walking down to Sakari's room her cousin was coming by for a visit. She sat coolly in Sakari's room, on the window couch. She was a thirteen-year-old with brown highlights and she was Chinese, like Sakari and I. Her name? Um… We heard it a few times… M. Saya? Yeah, that's it. I keep on hearing Sakari call her "Saya-san" so… I guess we would call her "Saya". I don't know why, but Max is a little afraid of her. Saya seems nice… Maybe it's because she never moves from that spot on the couch. She's always typing on her laptop and listening to her music. Maybe that's why Max is a little afraid of her. Sakari's adores her, which scares Maxie a little more.

**Normal POV**

Rei walked to the dimmed room. Light filtered the room as it came through the glass of the window. The light danced on Saya's complexion and Rei walked up to her. "You know, you kind of look pretty like this." Rei complimented with a smile that would make any fan-girl melt. Saya looked a bit surprised at his comment and slipped off her headphones so that they rested on her shoulders. "That has got to be the worst pick up line I've ever heard." Saya said to the raven-haired boy, making him retreat back suddenly as if he had been slapped in the face. Saya merely slipped back on her headphones and then said in a monotone voice, "Keep on trying kitty-boy." Her fingers then resumed to typing at one hundred miles per hour on the keyboard, ignoring him like she did everyone else.

"You have got to be kidding me." Rei scoffed picking up Saya's legs to move them aside. When Rei was about to sit, she quickly placed them back on. He threw them off again and tried to sit only earning a kick on his rear. "Ow! Would you mind?" Rei cried frustrated. "I want to sit."

Saya rolled her eyes at Rei's impatient voice. "Try again and I'll actually _aim_, if you know what I mean." Saya told him, emitting that same monotone voice.

Rei crossed his arms as he walked over behind the girl, his hair tail following him. He bent down, his ebony bangs framing his face. "What are you typing anyways?" He asked looking into the flat screen of her laptop.

Saya lazily closed her laptop and looked at him. Her almost sinister brown pools connecting with innocent, curious amber. "But the thing is… Do you really want to know?" She said in her voice, almost sounding evil. "Um… Never mind…"

"Hey there!" Sakari said waving to her cousin. "Hey. Where'd you and Max go?" Saya asked, giving a soft smile to Sakari (Shut up. She really does smile.) She got off of the couch and walked to Sakari. Her black laptop that had blue letters that read, "M. Saya" on the top, was tucked comfortably under her right arm. Saya had taken off her CD player headphones and placed the items on the couch, as if she was reserving that spot. Max walked up to Rei, his fingers playing with his sun-gold tufts as he approached his friend. "Oh! We went to visit Bree!" Sakari told her, grabbing her arm. Saya sweat dropped and had a red, throbbing anger mark on her head, "Get off!" She said pulling her little cousin off of her. "Aww! Come on!" Sakari whined, making her grip even tighter. "Get off! Last time you gave me friggin' rug burn!" (This happens in real life… I accidentally made her arm red once.)

Saya tugged on her cousin to try to pry her off. Sakari was a lot stronger than she looked, especially when it came to her cousin. "A little help here?" She growled, eying Max and Rei. Max shivered as he felt Saya's glare pierce through him. Rei chuckled and then said, "Sakari, get off of her. She's starting to scare Max again."

The younger pouted, but got off. She brushed her lavender Chinese top off. "Okay, okay. But only this time, Rei-Rei." She said giggling. Saya started to burst with laughter. "Rei-Rei? That sounds like a girl's name!" She said, barely able to breath. Sakari laughed and Max giggled. "Hey… That's mean." He said giving his best kitty pout.

"I'm just kidding, Kitty-Boy." Saya said, going back to her regular voice. She made it almost seem like nothing happen in the past minute. "Wuss…" She muttered under her breath. Rei's sensitive ears picked up her voice, making a great ol' vain mark appear on the neko's head. She then turned to her cousin and asked, "Hey, Sakari. Didn't you name that hamster of yours "Rei"?" Saya asked. Was she _trying _to piss him off? Rei thought. "Oh yeah! He's so cute!" Sakari beamed. "He's also fat and fluffy, right?" Saya asked giving off an innocent smile. Max started to laugh, until Rei shot his American friend a glare.

"You guys have fun torturing me… don't you?" Rei asked clenching a fist. "Oh, no! Of course not, koneko-chan!" Max managed to get out. Saya and Sakari stopped laughing _immediately _after hearing the words that came out of the blonde's mouth._ What the f…? _They both thought, looking at the ocean eyed boy weirdly.

"…What?" He looked back at them. "Nothing…" They both said turning around away from Max. "Was it something I said?" Max turned to Rei, who simply shrugged. Saya coughed a bit to clear her throat before turning around to face Rei and Max. "Um… "Koneko-chan"?" Saya asked Max, giving him a look as if he was contained in a mental place. "Yeah... And?" He demanded. "That sounds plain wrong…" Saya said. "Not really…" Rei claimed.

Sakari turned and said, "Fan fictions say otherwise!" Rei and Max gave her a puzzled look. "Fan… fictions…?" They asked. Sakari nodded "Yeah!"

"But how does that sound wrong?" Rei asked. "It made you guys sound queer!" Sakari simply said, as if she was saying her favorite ice cream flavor. "Queer? What does that mean?" Max asked, quite confused. Saya rolled her eyes. She finally had enough of their clueless, innocent minds. Time to pollute. "It means GAY!" She yelled out frustrated.

"OH!" Both boys said at the same time. A red blush played against both of their cheeks. "You didn't have to say that…" Max whined putting his hand on his head. He was trying to purify his mind before the image of "gayness" appears in his innocent mind. "Mental images anyone?" Sakari asked chuckling. "Why does all the hot guys have to be gay…?" Saya's eyes emitted fake, chibi tears. "WE'RE NOT GAY!" They shouted at the same time. "The world's cruel in so many ways…" Sakari shook her head patting Saya on her back. They totally ignored the "we're not gay" comment!

"Just kidding!" They said in unison with a grin, turning their heads to the blushing boys. "That wasn't funny." Rei said looking at Max. "You've scarred him for life." Said the cat, pointing to the turtle. Who was currently turned around, on the floor, and curled up in an upright ball. A few whimpering noises came from the small blonde. "Aww! Rei! You care about your boyfriend!" Saya taunted. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"

"Prove you're not gay!" Sakari jeered at the poor cat. The first thought that came to Rei was surprising. He quickly went up and pulled Saya in a full on kiss. Saya almost pushed him away, but to her disappointment he pulled away first. Saya wanted to push him. And really PUSH him off of her. But all and all, she was shocked beyond belief of what just happened. "Yeap… I'm gay." Rei claimed wiping his mouth.

Saya had a hot, red, throbbing vain mark on her head as she whacked the cat's head as hard as she could. "Hey! Ow!" He whined rubbing that spot. "SMUG BASTARD!" she cursed. "Why don't you go and be comforted by your little boyfriend then?" Saya yelled in an extremely deadly sounding tone, but there was a hint of hurt in her voice as well. Saya's eyes were scary as hell as she pointed to, a now withering, Max. The poor guy was afraid of getting a "mental image" from the past discussion and now he has to worry about Saya's wrath.

"Whoot… Rei's gay and everyone shall have a good day…" Sakari recited a small rhyme is a flat tone. "And Saya's mad, so no one shall be glad." She finished her rhyme, adding that last line in.

**End Chapter**

Saya: -glares at Rei- Tch. You're lucky the chapter ended or else you'd be cold, dead, and six feet under.

Sakari: Now, Saya...

Saya: I SHOULD BE ANGRY! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS!

Rei: o.o...

Max: ...Rei was your first kiss? Are you kidding me?

Saya: -dark shadows surrounding Saya- You want to die too Max? (eerily calm voice)

Max: o.o Hehe...

Rei: Oh yeah! To all the fan girls out there, I'm still straight!

Fan Girls: -swoons and screams-

Rei: -kitty smile-

Saya: Oh yeah, that makes me feel a lot better. -.-''

Sakari: Um... Rei... How long have you been working with Saya on the set?

Rei: A week... Why?

Sakari: No reason... Hey, invite me to your funeral would ya?

Rei: o.o...

Saya: -pulls out a rather large selection of coffins- Take your pick, prick.

Rei: o.o Eep...

Max: o.o;;; -runs up to the screen- Okay... Reviewers! Read and review!

Sakari: -in the backround- Hey! Saya! You don't SHOVE the guy in there!

Rei: HEY! HELP!

Max: o.o;;

Saya: Hehehe...

in background Saya is heard laughing evilly-

Max: Oh yeah. Review and Saya MIGHT keep Rei alive..

Saya: EITHER WAY HE'S GOING DOWN! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY CHAPTERS IT TAKES!

Max: Ehehe… For Rei's sake… Review…


	2. Talk About Japan's Funniest Home Videos!

Original Idea: Sakari Nikisho  
Story: Sakari Nikisho and M. Saya  
ENJOY THE SHOW

**What We Think About  
The Yaois**

Sakari: Yaho! It's the adorable eleven-year-old, Saki-chan! XD Just kidding… Any who. Due to the reviews from Dranzen and Kyo Madden, Saya decided not to kill Rei!

Saya: For now…

Sakari: o.O Hehe… Anyways… Dranzen? You like Rei x Max:p You'll love this chapter… People who don't… It was Saya's idea. Well, enjoy the show!

- - - -

The next day, Sakari got up from her bed and stretched. She played with the long sleeves of her pajama top as she got up to greet her cousin. Her copper red highlights stood out in her black hair, even when messy. She cutely yawned as she padded down the halls. On the way, she heard the soft purring from Rei's room and the quiet breathing from Max's.

"Itoko…? (Elder cousin…?)" Sakari peeped into Saya's room. She heard muttering from Saya's mouth as she climbed on her bed. "Rei…" Saya muttered softly. Sakari smiled brightly, _So she doesn't hate, Rei._ Sakari went closer to listen to her cousin. "Come back… Lemme stab you…" Saya mumbled.

Sakari's eyes widened. _Eep… I was wrong. _"Saya…" Sakari said. Saya started to wake up. Umber brown eyes opened. She yawned and stretched widely. "Hey, Sakari. What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"I was worried about, Saya-san," Sakari told her. Saya looked at her confused. "Um… Thanks. But why?" She asked. Sakari shook her head, "You laugh in your sleep."

Saya sat upright. "Hm… My parents said that I crack up in my sleep… Hee hee…" Saya was laughing evilly in her sleep that night. Of what Sakari heard, it must've been a nice night for murder in Saya's mind. Sakari sweat dropped, "Um, so… Do you forgive Rei?" Saya's eyes shot open with evil intent. "Never…!"

"Ehe… Ookay then." She said smiling nervously. Sakari pressed her fingers together and scrunched up her eyebrows. "I thought you liked Rei…" Sakari sighed. "Meh, not really. He's a kitty jerk."

Sakari sighed and played with the blue ribbon at the end of one of her sleeves. "So what are you going to do?" She asked.

"What else? Try to freak him out and get him convinced that he's gay. First, freak him out. Second… you don't want to know." Saya said sweat dropping. "Um, okay…" Sakari said, a bit afraid. And for a very good reason!

"Let's just say… I would need Max's help a lot." Saya grinned. Sakari started to lie back and roll on her bed laughing. She was laughing so hard, that she didn't notice that she was at the end of the bed. "AHH! Ow!" Saya scrambled up to the edge of the bed to look down. Her cousin was on the floor rubbing her head and her bottom. "Dumbass…" She sighed and shook her head.

Max sighed as he got dressed in his room and brushed his hair. He then heard knocking on his door. "Huh?" Max went over to open the door to see Saya standing before him. She was dressed in a black tank top and she was in a pair of white capris. "Uh… S-Saya… What a nice surprise…?" Max shrugged looking at the girl who was giving off a "nice" aura. "Um… Yes?" Max asked once more. "Hey, Maxie. I need a favor." She said sweetly, as she kicked a Beyblade on the ground with her gray sneaker.

Sakari came downstairs in a white sweater vest resting over a yellow shirt that looks way too oversized for a girl her age. She complimented it by wear a short yellow skirt over pair of black sport shorts and a pair of sneakers.

"Huh? Oh, hey Rei. What's up?" Sakari asked pulling up a seat. "Huh?" Rei looked at her tiredly. "Hey… What's wrong?" Rei gave out a yawn and a stretch. "I only started to sleep at three." He said rubbing his eyes. "You can thank your cousin for that…"

Sakari gave him a confused look. "What? What did Saya-san do?" Sakari asked the neko-jin. "You're cousin scares me." Rei slurred still half asleep. "She does? I thought it was just Max who was scared of my cousin." Sakari shook her head.

"No… Saya's very scary sometimes…" Rei yawned. "Hey, Rei!" came a cheery sounding voice behind them. If Rei were a real cat, his nails would've dug into the ceiling. "O-Ohayo…" He stuttered. Saya smiled and pat him on the back. "Good morning to you too!" She said. "Um… You alright?" Sakari asked, again worried about her cousin. Saya blinked then smiled. "Never better!"

"Hey, Sakari. I'm going to go to my room to get my laptop, alright?" Saya asked, so innocently that you wouldn't think she murdered someone in her dream. Sakari nodded and let her cousin go to retrieve her dearest item. As she left the room, she snickered sinisterly as she brushed past Max on her way upstairs.

Max sighed as he went down in the kitchen. _Man… why me? Why not Kai or something…? _Max sweat dropped as he got another one of his wonderful "mental images".

"Ohayo, Max." Sakari said smiling at the boy. Max smiled back, than looked towards Rei. _I'm not doing ANYTHING till Saya is here-_ "I'm back!" A female's voice called out. "Aw man…" Max muttered only for himself.

"Ohayo, Max," Saya smiled. She greeted him as if she have not already spoke to him that day. "Ohayo, Sakari," She repeated again. "Ohayo, Saya," Sakari greeted back smiling. Saya turned to Rei. Her eyes brightened as if she was to be a killer. She sent shivers to Rei's spine. "Ohayo… Rei." Saya said smiling with closed eyes, which brought relief to the poor boy. Rei was scared… Saya had almost scared him to death yesterday. He was greeted so differently and he was defiantly in for it, whatever Saya had in store for him. He was at the girl's mercy.

Poor Max. Without anyone knowing, he was at Saya's mercy also. Saya gave a small smirk, than she winked at Max as if to give him a signal. _Oh man… Not now. I can't believe I'm doing this…_ The American thought. Saya turned to Sakari and asked, "Hey Sakari. Do you want to go upstairs to help me with something?"

"Um… Okay…" She agreed a bit confused as she was dragged upstairs. On top of the stairs… It was a perfect viewing point! She can look over the stair rail to look in the kitchen. "Okay, so what's going on?" Sakari asked as she skated around with the wheels built into her sneakers. "Hey, remember I said that I would need Max's help?" Saya asked. "…Yeah?" Sakari arched a brow. "Hehe… Want to watch too?" Saya asked sinisterly. "Ooh, that's going to be fun. Maxie's actually a big flirt…" Sakari giggled, knowing a lot of Beyblade info. Saya sweat dropped at the comment. "Lucky for me." Saya shrugged.

Max breathed in and out. "Hey, Rei." Max looked towards Rei with his ocean blue eyes. "Yeah?" Rei responded, not even looking at Max. "Did anyone tell you that amber looks good on you?" Max amazed himself by letting that slip out smoothly.

Saya and Sakari tried to cover their laughter as Saya set up her camcorder and started to shoot everything. "Where the hell did that come from?" Sakari asked. "I just "happened" to have it!"

Rei looked at Max, who was stressing to keep up his straight face. Rei had a deep blush on his face. _I'm going to kill Sakari's "elder cousin" after this… _"Rei, do you have a fever? Your face is red." Max said innocently as he got very close to his face. "Are you okay?" He asked as he put his hand on Rei's forehead. Rei's blush got deeper. _What's going on? Is Max trying to flirt with me?_ He questioned in his mind.

Sakari was on the floor, trying to muffle her laughter. Saya was chuckling softly as she videotaped the scene. Plotting her revenge. "You're not going to let the poor guy off after this?" Sakari asked, making her 'itoko' scoff. "As if!"

"Ooh! You're mean!" Sakari giggled. "I try to be." Saya said coolly.

Max then put his hands on Rei's chair so they're on either side of Rei as he leaned closer. "You know, you're burning up." Max told him, still keeping a straight face on. "I-I-I'm fine…" Rei said, doing a very perfect imitation of a ripe tomato. In the meanwhile, Max was mentally hitting himself over his head, many, many, many times.

Once Sakari calmed down, she crawled over to the bottom bars of the stair rail and looked at the two in the kitchen. Max was practically on top of him! Well… his top half anyways. "This is great… Thank you, Maxie…" Saya snickered as she set up the camcorder to stand on it's own so that she could enjoy the scene of Max flirting with Rei, freehanded.

Everyone had to admit, Max was a _good_ actor! Everyone, especially Rei, was so convinced!

Max stared into those amber eyes, almost cracking up to let his emotions out to sell Saya out. But he retreated doing his plan. _Kai said I was **too** innocent. He said I should use it for my advantage if I wanted to get a girlfriend. But I'm not used to using myself that way. Not at all… _(Ooh. Maxie. You're saying that Rei's a girl? O.o XD Just kidding)Max thought deeply. He could really freak Rei out if he uses his innocence to his advantage.

Rei on the other hand, he didn't know what to do! He didn't want to push the blonde away. He might hurt the blonde physically and/or emotionally.

Max POV 

What am I going to do! I'm totally stressing and my arms are completely tired from doing this position too long. Rei was blushing like crazy. I guess this is what Saya wanted. Ehe…

I remember when he came to our school as a new student. "_This is Max! He's known as the cutest boy in the world!_" Sakari said to him on his first day, introducing me after her cousin. "_S-Sakari!_" She laughed.

"_I'm just kidding! But he is cute, right?"_ Saya rolled her eyes at her cousin's comment. I already had a blush across my face from embarrassment. That was one of the embarrassing moments of my life! Especially when Rei said, "_It's okay. You ARE cute._" He said giving off a smile and a laugh.

I'm so sure he was kidding or being friendly. It was a compliment; get that thought out of your gutter mind, I know what you're thinking. Now we don't ever, EVER talk about that kind of stuff anymore… till this day that is! DARN IT!

Why am I thinking about that anyways? Well, this is fun. Skipping through memory lane and all, but I better do something or Saya will kill me for wasting her precious tape.

"You know, Rei. The color red sure looks good on you." I said, giving him a smile. I don't know HOW I managed to make it this far! I'm not gay… Stop thinking that. It makes me feel self-conscience…

Rei POV 

"You know, Rei. The color red sure looks good on you." Max announced to me, giving me one of his innocent smiles. Was he trying to act cute and innocent? Sure, he's cute and all. But he's not CUTE. Please stop looking at me like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

Max started to lean forward. Too CLOSE! And my chair agreed. How? Oh, well the thing folded over on us!

**Normal POV**  
"AAH!" Both boys yelled in surprise as the chair collapsed under them. Max landed on Rei's chest and Rei landed on the floor, hard.

"Ooh, ouch." Sakari and Saya flinched at the same time, but only Saya shrugged. "Unplanned… but good anyways."

Sakari and Saya went downstairs to check if they got seriously hurt. Then Sakari looked at them in their position closely. "Gee… I wonder who's the seme here." Sakari said flatly. Saya burst out with laughter. Max's blue eyes fluttered open. He then noticed that he was on something soft and lumpy. His eyes fully opened, only to shock him.

He was on top of Rei! Rei stared to put a hand on his head, rubbing the place where he fell. "Itai…" Rei winced in pain. He then felt a heavy weight on his chest. "Max?" He looked at the smaller blonde weirdly as he arrived back to reality. "Ah! Gomen!" Max quickly got off of him. They both turned the opposite direction from each other. Both boys were blushing hard as Sakari and Saya laughed their butts off.

"And that's a wrap!" Saya suddenly said between laughs. "Huh?" Rei looked at Saya confused. She then pulled out a tape from her pocket. "Ta-da! You're a star, Rei-Rei!" Saya said smiling as she moved the tape back in forth in her hand. "…When did you take that tape out of the camera?" Sakari asked. Everything's suddenly going to go in "Unsolved Mysteries".

"Ah! Saya!" Rei shouted, knowing what that tape contained. That's why Max was acting so strange! Rei stared at Saya wide-eyed and knew that if that tape were to exist, his fate would be sealed. He quickly tried to grab the tape, only to miss and get tripped by Saya. She made a traditional "lucky cat" pose and said, "Time to upload to the Internet! Nyao!" Then she rushed up to her room and locked the door.

Rei dashed after her but was a bit too late and ended up smashing into the door. "Itai! Twice in one day!" He cried rubbing his head. Saya was inside snickering evilly. She wasn't really going to put it on the Internet, but she wanted to hear Rei's reaction from the others.

"Come on, Rei-Rei! It's not so bad! Nya!" Sakari said cheerfully as she skated across the living room's hardwood floor. "And Maxie! Cheer up!" Rei and Max were kneeling at the Japanese styled table, with their heads buried in the hands. Gloom and dread-marks filled the room.

"This is… not fair." Rei gloomed. He was mourning over a reputation that he was sure to loose in the next few minutes. Max wasn't fairing any better.

"Why'd you hit on me?" Rei asked, almost glaring at his friend. Max blinked. "You'd hit on me if Saya came in your room with a Swiss-army knife." Max said, banging his head on the table. "Oh, Max…" Rei shook his head in disappointment. Who knew what Saya had in store for them next?

**End Chapter**

Sakari: -skates around the set- Wee! Thank you soooo much Drazen and Kyo Madden! You kept Rei-Rei alive and Saya under control! Oh, and you made this chapter come out earlier. Anyways, my homophobic friend, Bree, is coming in the next chapter! Saya's going to do a little project to freak the boys out in the next chapter too! Ja ne till next time!


End file.
